EXCLUSIVE: Hot New 'New Cap City' Cheats and Clues is a The Caprican Entertainment article written by Matthew Riley. It was printed in Martius 5, YR42.
Don't let all that frakkin' crap on Backtalk get you down - New Cap City is still the best thing ever. And here are some new cheats and clues to make your stay in the big bad City a little easier, or at least more interesting.
Get into the Mysteries club without checking your weapons:
When you enter the lobby, walk backwards past the concierge at the weapons check. It's a glitch in the programming - he won't notice you. Weird.
More after the jump...
Password to get a voucher at Johnny D's Casino:
"Cellar Door." Say it to the guy at the first blackjack table. The voucher's not much, but when was the last time you scored a voucher at all at Johnny D's?
Increase Amp effects:
Put the squeeze bottle under a hot light bulb for about two minutes. It's not too much of a boost, but it's probably enough to get you out of a jam in which a regular dose isn't enough.
Get a free room at the New Moon Hotel:
I've gotten about a 50% success rate from players with this one, so use at your own risk. Tell the concierge that you're "friends with Mister Dalton." Apparently the owner owes this Dalton guy big time and is scared to death of him. If the concierge challenges you, say, "You're right, how could this be? Mister Dalton has no friends." That's the real kicker and will freak him out like nothing else - don't be surprised if he hands you the keys to the Honeymoon Suite after that. I have no idea what it all means. Again, use at your own risk.
Get an audience with Vesta just by asking to see her:
Give one of her goons a chocolate cupcake, and they'll take you to the Queen without question.
I'm kidding. What are you, crazy?
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Delphi Institute Loses Major Funding is a The Caprican News article written by Matthew Riley. It was printed in Martius 14, YR42.
It is an unhealthy day for Caprica as one of our finest mental health institutions is now officially financially struggling.
The Delphi Convalescent Institute, a non-profit organization funded mostly by colony support and private donors, will lose over forty percent of its funding from the former in Quarter Three of this year. The news comes hot on the heels of rumors that Delphi was going to be cutting over twenty-five percent of its in-house staff in the next couple of months.
"These are hard times for our Institute," said Dr. Paul Martin, one of the senior doctors at Delphi. "We are still completely dedicated to seeing to the mental health of all of our patients, both old and new, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that we're going to need a little help in the near future to keep the lights on."
The loss of colony funding comes from across-the-board colony budget cuts, and Dr. Martin says the announcement doesn't come as a surprise.
"We all have to tighten our belts and be more savvy during these times," he says. "I don't blame anyone, and there's no use getting up in arms. We'll just have to come up with a Plan B, and probably a Plan C as well."
The Delphi Convalescent Institute was established in YR 01 and is part of the Caprica Mental Health Association. It currently houses over 120 patients.
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Whither the C-Bucs? is a The Caprican Sports article written by Matthew Riley. It was printed in Martius 23, YR42.
No interview today. No musings on the athleticism of the other colonies. No, today we're going to keep it at home, and get down and dirty. Cold hard facts. What's going down with the C-Bucs?
C-Bucs recently lost to the Olympia Stallions, 17-35. Their chance for a wild card in the playoffs is looking doubtful. Doubtful, but not impossible. Voxrector Jimmy Cox and Serger Kevin Kovat might have a few tricks that have yet to pull. Yes, I've said that about the C-Bucs in yesteryear when they're not doing so well - that they might have a "few tricks." And remember that sometimes they do.
On the other hand, Graystone Industries stock is plummeting as sales of Holobands go to charity. Daniel Graystone in personal, professional and economic crisis. Will he be forced to sell the Bucs? Let's hope not. But stay tuned. These are strange times.
What else has happened? Some highlights:
C-Bucs beat the Picon Panthers, 72-57, which ended in a second six-minute overtime in which Kovat faced off mono-on-mono against the Panthers' Johnny Mayburn. And Kovat kicked his ass. Literally, if you remember. That was funny. We needed a laugh, as it was raining like there was no tomorrow.
C-Bucs beat the Sagittaron Archers, 88-3. How the Archers managed to get three points without collapsing is beyond me. I'm not going to be yet another guy to say this, but...OK, I will. Archers = Worst. Team. Ever.
C-Bucs were defeated by the Leonis Wildcats, 98-96, in a six-minute overtime that lasted approximately two seconds. The gods are, indeed, dead.
C-Bucs were defeated by the Boskirk All Reds because Jackie Donovan is the worst Regis in the history of the game. He's brainwashed his Sentios into consenting to his every psychotic whim and has never once in his miserable life made a decent call on or off the court. Possibly the most infuriating game in the history of the sport. And Jackie can slap me with however many lawsuits he can dig up - he deserved that little love tap from yours truly. Glass Jaw Jackie Donovan.
Anyway, it's been an interesting season, if not a great one. And it's not over yet. There are surprises in store, Capricans. Maybe even a few tricks. Stay tuned! Go Bucs!
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The Capricanization of Tomas Vergis is a The Caprican Opinion article written by Matthew Riley. It was printed in Aprilis 5, YR42.
The Tauron community - of which I am a proud member - has been in an uproar since Tomas Vergis announced on Backtalk with Baxter Sarno that he would be renouncing his Tauron upbringing and pursuing his Caprican citizenship. And we have every right to be.
The Tauron community on Caprica fights an uphill battle every day of the week. We are the targets of racism and suspicion, of violent hate crimes and intolerance. We are seen as outsiders, as little more than thugs with an undeserved sense of pride and tradition. We have to deal with being called "dirt eaters," a term so offensive it's a wonder the gods themselves allow such cruelty and insensitivity.
There are many of us who hold important positions in politics, industry and entertainment here on Caprica. We work hard, and we are recognized and rewarded for that work. There are many of us who are in places of power and respect, and we are proud of those brothers and sisters who have made something of themselves.
Now, one of our most prominent leaders - Tomas Vergis of the Vergis Corporation, one of the most brilliant inventors and engineers that the Colonies have ever seen, not to mention an intelligent and savvy businessman - is renouncing his heritage and becoming a Caprican. He's never publically expressed any pain or embarrassment regarding being a Tauron, so this news comes as quite a surprise. It is also an insult to the rest of us, who value pride, family and heritage above all else.
I say this to you, Mr. Vergis - your Caprican citizenship is just a piece of paper. Look in your heart to see who you truly are. It seems like you need a reminder.
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Canceron Wants a Fourth Pyramid Team is a The Caprican Sports article written by Matthew Riley. It was printed in Aprilis 19, YR42.
Before I get into this madness, I just want to share a quick story about Canceron. I was there last year for a couple of days, and I wasn't in Psammos at the casino, I was in Hades, trying to get in touch with the people and keep it real. A seven-year-old kid kicked me in the crotch and his buddy punched me in the face and they stole my wallet after hitting me on the head with a log.
That's it. Yeah, Hades is as poor and frakked up as you've heard.
Now, on to Pyramid. Canceron, as you know, has three teams. Canceron calls itself "The Largest Democracy," because they're so frakkin' overpopulated. Apparently they can justify having three Pyramid teams because there's just so many people on the Colony. Whatever, I don't make the rules or sign the paperwork.
OK, so you've got the Canceron Hydras (who play in Hades, where, as I think I mentioned earlier, two seven-year-olds hit me on the head with a log), the Hades Vice, and the Mangala Krill. Three Pyramid teams. And because all these poor people keep having babies, Canceron is getting even more overpopulated, which means they want yet another Pyramid team for a grand total of four.
They're out of their minds, of course. What's the point? What could the League hope to gain from a fourth Canceron team? Hey, who knows? They've filled out the paperwork (yet again) and have made the bid. Maybe this year they'll actually get it.
They haven't gotten as far as deciding what the fourth team would be called, though. What do you think, Pyramid fans? The Psammos Claws? The New Hades Silver Crabs? The Hades Seven-Year-Old Thugs?
Gods damn those kids. I liked that wallet, too.
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