STO Training Camps: What Goes on There?

Just call them terrorists.

STO Training Camps: What Goes on There? is a The Caprican Opinion article written by Ralston Sinclair. It was printed in Martius 29, YR42.

Story

Not that I give a frak about any of these frakkin' bastards, but I must admit, this has me a bit intrigued, if only because thinking about what must go on in these hellholes makes me all the more enraged.

I'm talking about what's referred to as STO "Training Camps," where they train boys and girls to be sicko terrorist scumbags. You know the STO - they blew up the MAGLEV train in the name of believing that there's only one god. Why such a belief requires the death of a bunch of commuters to get it across to us ignorant non-believing sheep is beyond me, but hey, I'm not a sicko terrorist scumbag.

I can only imagine what "training" involves for these idiots. Everyone probably wears black boots and green T-shirts. They probably eat some gross white gelatinous substance three meals a day. They probably have to build bombs in three minutes or less, or else they get shot in the head. They're probably forced run ten miles a day, and half of it is sprinting. And it's probably always raining there, so they get soaked, which makes them miserable all day long. They probably throw balls with spikes on them at each other instead of engaging in a good old fashioned game of pyramid. Then they all pray to their One True God before calling it a night.

Seriously, people, stop calling these jerks a "monotheistic cult." They don't believe in frakkin' anything except spreading fear and acting like idiots. They're terrorists. If you see any member of the STO, do Caprica a favor and knock 'em on the head. Hard. We'll see how well their "training" makes them handle that.

Notes

Image

• A Google Images search of "military push ups" indicates that it is a stock photo edited with the Soldiers of the One emblem on the soldiers' shirts.

External links

• STO Training Camps: What Goes on There?
• Facebook

Preceded by: The Telewindow: One For Every Home

STO Training Camps: What Goes on There?

Succeeded by: The Military Machine: The Other Side of Graystone Industries

Caprica definition: a monotheistic terrorist organization in existence for more than a decade prior to 58 BCH (^{(CAP: "Pilot")}, et al).

Re-imagined Series definition: all-purpose vulgarism; Colonial version of "fuck" (see: frak)

Galactica 1980 definition: Dillon is called both a terrorist and a chauvinist by Jamie Hamilton during their phone call from the police station; he asks Troy "what's a terrorist chauvinist?" ^{(1980: "Galactica Discovers Earth, Part I")}

These are terms directly relating to Galactica 1980, some of which are based from the Original Series. For terms from that series, please refer to List of terms (TOS).