User:Homeworld616: Difference between revisions

Joined 25 June 2006
Line 89: Line 89:
* [[New Caprica City]]
* [[New Caprica City]]
* [[Arts and Literature of the Twelve Colonies]]
* [[Arts and Literature of the Twelve Colonies]]
== The Homeworld ==
[[Image:Railgun.jpg|thumb|right|We have BIG GUNS on this Colony]]
[[Image:BSGToaster.jpg|thumb|right|We like toast on The Homeworld (with butter and fruity preserves, of course)]]
[[Image:Cylonattack.jpg|thumb|right|Take that Speilberg!]]
I suppose you are all wondering what this planet is, so I will tell you.  The Homeworld is the fourteenth colony of Kobol that everyone forgot about.  At least that is what we like to think.  There was no fourteenth tribe of man, and our actual history was quite a bit less romantic.  We were originally an out-system colony of Virgon, but moved to the jurisdiction of Sagittaron after a particularly embarrasing stint involving the leaders of both Colonies betting on a Pyramid game while strung out on green alcohol, and a semi-tamed mongoose whose involvement in the proceedings is questionable.  We quickly became a source of cheap labor for a Colony that was adoringly referred to by the other Eleven worlds as "Our b**ch."  The Sagittarians tried to make life good for us, and for Godsmas they built us a wonderful new professional Pyramid court and gave us our own minor league team.  Unfortunately, on the opening day and premier game, the court, team and a promising group from the Society of Junior Executives Who Wear Three-Piece Suits and Golf on Sundays were vaporized by an almost, but not completely, unexpected volcanic eruption.
The Homeworld became industrialized and, lucky us, we got to do the jobs Sagittarians didn't want to do.  Our colony became the proud home of several almost-but-not-quite-so-venerable worker's organizations, including the Royal Crap Movers Society, the Imperious Paper and Other Desktop Implement Pushers Union, the Order of Bueraucratic Red Tape and Fondue Stirrers, the Association of Gatherers and Collectors of Very Small Rocks, and ENRON.  A backwards economy and dictatorial rule ruined us, and the richer Colonies gave us aid money out of some sense of obligation or pity.  We did what any third-world planet would do with over 700 million cubits: Blow it all on cockfights. 
When the Cylons attacked and smoked the Twelve Colonies, they actually missed us.  Didn't even come close, actually.  Not by a long shot.  We had some feeling that they knew about us though, since we received an encrypted message telling us that our planet was so pitiful not even Satan would go there, so they had no reason for wasting perfectly good nukes on us.  Besides, they assumed we would go insane and gnaw our legs off partly from the highly toxic industiral fumes we had breathed in over the past few milennia, and partly from the Cylon's bad humor.
Nope, the Cylons didn't destroy us, but we were annihilated anyway.  In a wholly unexplained cosmic event, a wormhole opened up and deposited a single Number 2 pencil into our orbit.  It hit an orbital defense satellite, which happened to be carrying a large assortment of improperly programmed Daleks (we thought the Cylons weren't cool enough, so we made our own robots).  The pencil, for some reason, released the Daleks who had been cyberhibernating.  Robots don't like to be awoken from cyberhibernation, and did what any Asimovian robot would do: Blow up the nearest population of humans and then take a relaxing nap.  The Daleks went on a rampage and we were all destroyed, making humanity very unhappy.  Another equally unhappy person in some other area of the Multiverse was the high school student who lost his pencil to the vortex, and consequently could not finish his SAT and was then barred from the college he wanted to go to, depriving his planet of another professional pastry chef.  Fortunately for humanity, another random worm hole opened up and sucked all the Daleks to the beginning of time.  Unhappy about being deprived of their post-apocalyptic nap, they began shooting at the nearest cosmic beings, subsequently staring an intertemporal war whose result was a number of highly popular British television shows starring a Doctor who asked "Would you like a Jelly Baby?".
That's pretty much it.  The Fleet accidentally stumbled upon The Homeworld during its exodus from the Prolmar Sector, but that was cut out due to time constraints.  This history of The Homeworld is also being cut off, due to the fact that this page is silly and I am being watched by users who almost, but not quite, entirely disprove of silliness on a canon website.  Have a nice day!

Revision as of 15:56, 26 July 2006

Homeworld616
[[Image:|200px|Homeworld616]]

Name

Kevin Who?
Age 16
Colony The Homeworld
Birth place {{{birthplace}}}
Birth Name Kevin...
Birth Date {{{birthdate}}}
Callsign Invader616
Nickname {{{nickname}}}
Introduced [[{{{seen}}}]]
Death Fall of the Twelve Colonies
Parents Mom and Dad
Siblings I am an only child
Children If I had some, that would be wrong
Marital Status It would be illegal to marry at my age
Family Tree View
Role Colonial Researcher/Historian
Rank Member
Serial Number {{{serial}}}
Portrayed by Good question
Homeworld616 is a Cylon
Homeworld616 is a Final Five Cylon
Homeworld616 is a Human/Cylon Hybrid
Homeworld616 is an Original Series Cylon
Related Media
@ BW Media
Additional Information
[[Image:|200px|Homeworld616]]


WELCOME TO THE HOMEWORLD

An Announcement From the Department of Random Public Announcements (Commercial Division)

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

...

YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT THE HOMEWORLD. YOU ARE CLEARED FOR LANDING.


Introductory Wireless Broadcast

BROADCASTED TO: Whoever cares to listen

ORIGIN: The Homeworld

Hello, fellow Battlestar Galacitca fans. I am Homeworld616 and, as you can probably tell from the above sections, I greatly enjoy humor of the British persuasion. Well guess what? That's all the funny stuff there is on this userpage. The rest will be serious, in an effort to appease the users who almost, but not quite, entirely disporve of silliness on a canon website. Despite my funloving and laidback exterior, I am a hard-working, committed member of this wiki who really wants to contribute here and make everyone's day better at the same time on the interior. Allow me to drop some quick facts about myself to you.

  • Real Location: Connecticut, United States of America
  • Areas of Expertise: World History, American Literature, Christian Theology
  • Stuff I'm Learning: Modern and American History, British Literature
  • I Like: Battlestar Galacitca 2003, Code Lyoko, Dr. Who, Sim City 3000, Halo Trilogy, writing novels, science-fiction, food (all international cuisines), travel (internationa and domestic), high adventure, theme parks, and going on Wikipedia.
  • I Don't Like: Americans who hate their country, Europeans who think the USA is more dangerous than Iran, populists, American politics, paparazzi, bad Hollywodd movies, bad American humor, self-congratulating journalists, and extremitsts of any creed, from Militant Atheist to Rabid Christian and all points in between.

What I Do on Wikipedia...

...Stays on Wikipedia. Just kidding. On Wikipedia my activities are centered around the Code Lyoko pages, which I regularly edit and create articles for. Currently, I am creating a comprehensive list of episode recaps for seasons 1 and 2 of that show. Check them out by going on Wikipedia and typing in "List of Code Lyoko episodes" on the search bar. Other times I search for information, sometimes for school, other times for pleasure. I promised myself I would join the Battlestar Galactica wiki, and here I am!

Statement of My Mission on Battlestar Wiki

I am mainly interested in the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, their history, civilization, trivia, etc. On this wiki, I plan to contribute and edit articles relating to the colonies on a regular basis and perhaps create a few. I also know some trivia that I do not see listed here. I plan to fix that. I also want to be extremely helpful to my fellow editors and administrators and not be a time waster or a pain.

Articles I Have Created/Edited for Battlestar Wiki

Sadly, most of what I write are stubs. This is due to the fact that I am interested in Colonial instutions/creations and the writers really don't go into those too much. The only true articles I've written are Unnamed Cities of Caprica and Cities of Caprica, one of which has been deleted. It should also be noted that any images you find in these articles weren't uploaded by me, but by other users, most particularly Mercifull.

Directory of My Work

Statistics

In order to keep a track record of how I'm doing, I'm going to tally statistics of my articles that are kept and deleted.

Total Number of Articles Created

  • 8

Number of Articles Deleted

  • 2

Number of Articles Redirected

  • 1

Number of Articles Safe and Sound

  • 5

Articles I Have Edited

The Homeworld

We have BIG GUNS on this Colony
We like toast on The Homeworld (with butter and fruity preserves, of course)
Take that Speilberg!

I suppose you are all wondering what this planet is, so I will tell you. The Homeworld is the fourteenth colony of Kobol that everyone forgot about. At least that is what we like to think. There was no fourteenth tribe of man, and our actual history was quite a bit less romantic. We were originally an out-system colony of Virgon, but moved to the jurisdiction of Sagittaron after a particularly embarrasing stint involving the leaders of both Colonies betting on a Pyramid game while strung out on green alcohol, and a semi-tamed mongoose whose involvement in the proceedings is questionable. We quickly became a source of cheap labor for a Colony that was adoringly referred to by the other Eleven worlds as "Our b**ch." The Sagittarians tried to make life good for us, and for Godsmas they built us a wonderful new professional Pyramid court and gave us our own minor league team. Unfortunately, on the opening day and premier game, the court, team and a promising group from the Society of Junior Executives Who Wear Three-Piece Suits and Golf on Sundays were vaporized by an almost, but not completely, unexpected volcanic eruption.

The Homeworld became industrialized and, lucky us, we got to do the jobs Sagittarians didn't want to do. Our colony became the proud home of several almost-but-not-quite-so-venerable worker's organizations, including the Royal Crap Movers Society, the Imperious Paper and Other Desktop Implement Pushers Union, the Order of Bueraucratic Red Tape and Fondue Stirrers, the Association of Gatherers and Collectors of Very Small Rocks, and ENRON. A backwards economy and dictatorial rule ruined us, and the richer Colonies gave us aid money out of some sense of obligation or pity. We did what any third-world planet would do with over 700 million cubits: Blow it all on cockfights.

When the Cylons attacked and smoked the Twelve Colonies, they actually missed us. Didn't even come close, actually. Not by a long shot. We had some feeling that they knew about us though, since we received an encrypted message telling us that our planet was so pitiful not even Satan would go there, so they had no reason for wasting perfectly good nukes on us. Besides, they assumed we would go insane and gnaw our legs off partly from the highly toxic industiral fumes we had breathed in over the past few milennia, and partly from the Cylon's bad humor.

Nope, the Cylons didn't destroy us, but we were annihilated anyway. In a wholly unexplained cosmic event, a wormhole opened up and deposited a single Number 2 pencil into our orbit. It hit an orbital defense satellite, which happened to be carrying a large assortment of improperly programmed Daleks (we thought the Cylons weren't cool enough, so we made our own robots). The pencil, for some reason, released the Daleks who had been cyberhibernating. Robots don't like to be awoken from cyberhibernation, and did what any Asimovian robot would do: Blow up the nearest population of humans and then take a relaxing nap. The Daleks went on a rampage and we were all destroyed, making humanity very unhappy. Another equally unhappy person in some other area of the Multiverse was the high school student who lost his pencil to the vortex, and consequently could not finish his SAT and was then barred from the college he wanted to go to, depriving his planet of another professional pastry chef. Fortunately for humanity, another random worm hole opened up and sucked all the Daleks to the beginning of time. Unhappy about being deprived of their post-apocalyptic nap, they began shooting at the nearest cosmic beings, subsequently staring an intertemporal war whose result was a number of highly popular British television shows starring a Doctor who asked "Would you like a Jelly Baby?".

That's pretty much it. The Fleet accidentally stumbled upon The Homeworld during its exodus from the Prolmar Sector, but that was cut out due to time constraints. This history of The Homeworld is also being cut off, due to the fact that this page is silly and I am being watched by users who almost, but not quite, entirely disprove of silliness on a canon website. Have a nice day!