Editing The Money Machine

{{unproduced|universe=1980}}
{{Episode Data
| image=
| title=The Money Machine
| series=1980
| season= 
| episode=
| unproduced=y
| guests=
| writer=Alan S. Godfrey
| story=
| director=
| production=
| prev=[[A Flight For Life]]
| next=[[The Battle of Troy]]
| extra=
}}

== Overview ==

First Draft: March 15, 1980

Six young children walk down a city street. A black limousine drives past them and comes to a stop at Banion’s Flower Shop. A man steps out and carries a large plastic flower bag to the back entrance of the shop and sets them down at the right side of the door. The man walks back to the limousine, gets in, and it drives off. The back door of the flower shop opens and a boy in his late teens named Chico Gorcey emerges with a plastic flower bag just like the one that was just placed there. He leaves his bag on the left side, not noticing the other bag on the right, and then goes back inside. His brothers, Tommy and Jimmy, both around the same age as him, are in the showroom taking inventory. The three of them are affiliated with the mafia, but they are better described as bumbling wannabees than evil henchmen. They are waiting for money to be dropped off, not realizing that it already has. The six young children arrive at the back door, and the brothers let them take three bags of flowers that they will try to sell. One of the bags they take is the one with the money in it.

Troy and Dillon arrive on their Galactica motorcycles and park in front of the U.B.S. television station. Troy explains to Dillon how to use a parking meter, saying that a quarter is equal to “one-fourth of a dollar.” They see the kids selling flowers and decide to approach them. One boy, Toulouse, is really impressed with their bikes. Troy offers Toulouse a quick ride on the bike in exchange for a bag of flowers. Toulouse agrees, and Troy drives him around the corner.

When they return, Jamie and an attractive blonde named Lucy Carr are walking out of the building. Lucy scolds Troy for allowing a child to ride on the back of his bike. As it turns out, the children all live with Lucy in a foster home. Jamie suggests to Troy that the flowers would make good decorations on the Galactica. Troy agrees to buy them if Jamie will come with them back to the Galactica to help decorate. She agrees. Troy buys all the flowers, and they drive off to their parked vipers which are hidden in an invisibility field.

The vipers take off with Jamie in Troy’s viper. After they reach outer space, Jamie discovers a large amount of money in one of the flower bags. They then encounter a Cylon patrol consisting of five Cylon Raiders. Dillon tells Troy to escape so as not to endanger Jamie, but she insists they stay together. They quickly destroy two of the Cylon raiders, and two more flee. But the last one manages to score a hit on Troy’s viper, causing severe damage. Dillon destroys the raider, ending the Cylon threat.

Troy’s smoking viper makes an emergency landing in the Galactica’s landing bay. Troy and Jamie quickly get out and run. Moments later, the viper explodes in a large ball of flame.

Back on Earth, the three Gorcey brothers realize the money they were supposed to receive is missing. They shudder because the mafia leader known as The Man is on his way over.

A hearse containing the three Gorcey brothers drives down the street. A limousine comes in the opposite direction and blocks them, forcing them to come to a screeching halt. The Man, who is old, and two large henchmen get out of the limo. They demand to know where the money is. Desperate for an excuse, the brothers decide to lie, telling him that a rival gang is moving in on his territory and that they held them up and took the money. They say the gang is headed by a woman named Lucy and that the name of the gang is Lucy’s Kids. The Man is skeptical of their story, and he gives them only one chance to get the money back. He also tells them that the money is counterfeit.

On the Galactica, Troy tells Dr. Zee about the money they found that was lost in the explosion. Troy wants to return the money to whoever it belongs to. He gives Zee the one bill they were able to salvage. Zee decides to build a money machine that can print money, but for security reasons it will be voice activated. And only Troy will be able to activate it by saying the phrase: Give me money. Also, the device will be built using Earth materials in order to disguise its alien technology.

Later, at Lucy’s house, the Gorcey brothers have cornered three of the children. Troy and Dillon are also there, invisible, watching and listening. The brothers tell them to bring the ten thousand dollars to the flower shop that night… or else! They leave.

Lucy enters and can tell that by the children’s faces that something is wrong. There is a knock on the front door. They open it to find Troy and Dillon. Troy is carrying a briefcase with several wires and a small lightbulb attached to it. They tell the kids they want to help them and ask to use the bathroom upstairs. When they go upstairs, they actually go into the attic. The kids follow with a cassette recorder and start recording outside the door.

Troy says “Give me the money.” The machine activates, lighting up until it is totally surrounded by an incandescent glow. An aura of light resembling a beautiful rainbow exudes from the machine, and then it begins to print twenty dollar bills.

Later, Troy and Dillon and one of the kids named Tony arrive at the flower shop. Tony knocks on the door. It opens and the three Gorcey brothers let them in.

Back at the house, the rest of the kids are in the attic and looking at the money machine. Somehow, they deduce that Troy and Dillon used the machine to create the money that was handed over.

Back at the flower shop, Troy and Dillon give the Gorcey brothers ten thousand dollars. Back at the house, one of the kids uses the cassette recorder to play back the recording of Troy saying, “Give me the money.” The machine activates and starts printing money. All the kids watch with a look of complete awe on their faces.

That night, The Man and his two henchmen arrive at the flower shop. The Gorcey brothers give him them the money. The Man looks over the money and realizes that it is counterfeit money, but it isn’t his counterfeit money. It is actually a much better quality than what he produces. But the bills all have the same serial number so that is what gives them away as being counterfeit. The Man demands that the brothers get him the plates… or else!!!

The next day, the kids are in a department store, and there is a montage of them buying presents for Lucy, the house and themselves. Later, Troy, Dillon and Jamie walk up to the front door of Lucy’s house and hear laughter inside. They knock on the door.

They are let inside. Lucy thanks them for their donation to the school which confuses them. The kids eventually confess and admit that they used the money machine. Troy decides that they need to buy back all the counterfeit bills. Outside, the Gorcey brothers are listening to all this.

Next, there is a montage of Troy, Dillon, Jamie and the children at the department store buying back all the phony bills by looking for the matching serial number. They visit three different departments. All the salespeople and customers look at them like they’re crazy.

Back at Lucy’s house, the Gorcey brothers somehow sneak into Lucy’s attic. They find the briefcase and guess that it must be the money machine. They leave with it.

Outside the department store, Jamie complains to Troy and Dillon that she is now broke because they used her own money to buy back the counterfeit bills. They and the children walk off.

At the flower shop, the Gorcey brothers show the money machine to The Man but they can’t figure out how to activate it. Back at Lucy’s house, Troy, Dillon, Jamie and the kids enter the attic only to discover that the money machine is gone. The kids somehow guess that the Gorcey brothers took it. They all decide to go to the flower shop.

At the flower shop, The Man concludes that the gang called Lucy’s Kids must be pros if they own a device like this, so he decides to call in some real heavyweights to deal with them. They all leave. Afterwards, Troy and Dillon arrive to find the flower shop deserted. They realize that Lucy could be in danger, so they decide to head back to the house.

Lucy is outside her house when a limousine pulls up. Someone inside asks if her name is Lucy. When she says yes, she is taken prisoner and whisked away in the limo.

Later, the Gorcey brothers walk up to Lucy’s house and knock on the door. Troy, Dillon and the children are inside. They let them in. The Gorcey brothers tell them that The Man has taken things too far and they now want to help rescue Lucy who is being held hostage at an amusement park.

The children and the Gorcey brothers pile into a hearse and are led by Troy and Dillon on their motorbikes.

At the amusement park, a Merry-Go-Round is going round and round with Lucy tied to one of the horses. She tells The Man that she doesn’t know how to turn on the machine.

Troy, Dillon and the kids arrive and there is a big showdown. The action occurs not just at the Merry-Go-Round but also the House of Mirrors and the Fun House. The children jump on backs, beat on heads, kick a few shins. The Gorcey brothers use teamwork like the flying wedge, the human battering ram, and the bend over behind the heavy while my brother pushes you over me trick. Troy and Dillon barely have to get involved.

Suddenly, the police and a SWAT team arrive, but the children have already won the fight. Troy picks up the money machine, hands it to The Man, and with a little help from Troy and Dillon on either side, The Man starts walking towards the SWAT team. As he is walking, Troy and Dillon turn invisible and continue to guide him until he is captured. They then escape.

Later, everyone is at the police station. While the Gorcey brothers are bragging about their recent heroics, Troy and Dillon turn invisible. Lucy wonders where they’ve gone and mentions she would like to see them again.

Troy and Dillon, still invisible, walk towards the exit door. Dillon mentions he would like to see Lucy again. Troy says he will, because they’re going to need more flowers for decorating the Galactica.

== Notes ==

* Galactica 1980 story editors Allan Cole and Chris Bunch: "We thought the script was a stone scream, but (Frank) Lupo read it and Hated it. Don't think it even got as far as Larson."<ref>''Galactica Sci-Fi Television Series Revisited.'' Alpha Control Press, 1995.</ref>
* If this script had been produced, it would no doubt have been in the running for the Worst Episode award.

== References ==
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{{Unproduced episode list}}