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Editing Talk:Anastasia Dualla/Archive 1

Discussion page of Anastasia Dualla/Archive 1
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Here's a stab at some cleanup, with some notes that I'll make as I make the changes below:
Here's a stab at some cleanup, with some notes that I'll make as I make the changes below:


Dualla contracts [[Mellorak infection|Mellorak Sickness]] from contact with some of the refugees of the ''[[Threa Sita]]''. Among them are 51 of her fellow [[Sagittaron]]s. Most of the Sagittarons refuse to be [[Bittamucin|treated]], allowing the disease to spread and further fueling the prejudice against them.  (A prejudice that Dualla herself claims to understand, as she does not appear to share all of the beliefs of her fellow colonists.) The [[Michael Robert|civilian doctor]], though ostensibly treating them, surreptitiously kills a few via lethal injection to prevent them from depleting scare resources. Captain [[Karl Agathon]], discovers the doctor's plot and attempts to rescue Dualla. However, it turns out that the doctor has actually treated her, believing her to be an exception due to her military service. Dualla chose to be treated by the civilian doctor as she appears to have some issues with Doc [[Cottle]] ([[The Woman King]]).
Dualla contracts [[Mellorak infection|Mellorak Sickness]] from contact with some of the refugees of the ''[[Threa Sita]]''. Among them are 51 of her fellow [[Sagittaron]]s. Most of the Sagittarons refuse to be [[Bittamucin|treated]], allowing the disease to spread and further fueling the prejudice against them.  (A prejudice that Dualla herself claims to understand, as she does not appear to share all of the beliefs of her fellow colonists.) The [[Michael Robert|civilian doctor]], though ostensibly treating them, surreptitiously kills a few via lethal injection to prevent them from depleting scare resources. Captain [[Karl Agathon]], discovers the doctor's plot and attempts to rescue Dualla. However, it turns out that the doctor has actually treated her, believing her to be an exception due to her military duty ([[The Woman King]]).


* Present tense for episodic events.
* Present tense for episodic events.
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* Pulled parental issue speculation.
* Pulled parental issue speculation.
* Episode citation inside of period.
* Episode citation inside of period.
* Pulled Cottle issues into paragraph.


That's my first cut at "concising" it. I agree that sometimes the "Concision Fairies" can go too far, but redundancy, in general, should be avoided. Let the articles that you link to do the detail work. --[[User:Steelviper|Steelviper]] 22:13, 24 February 2007 (CST)
That's my first cut at "concising" it. I agree that sometimes the "Concision Fairies" can go too far, but redundancy, in general, should be avoided. Let the articles that you link to do the detail work. --[[User:Steelviper|Steelviper]] 22:13, 24 February 2007 (CST)

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